Gary Scudder,
Operations Management,
Vanderbilt University
[October 23, 2011] —
Imagine going to your dermatologist for bumps on your skin, only to be told “Run, don’t walk” to your primary care physician. Those bumps were swollen lymph nodes.
The prescribed CT scan verified that my swollen lymph nodes were likely a sign of lymphoma. Twenty days later the definitive diagnosis came: aggressive stage IV mantle cell non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. This particular lymphoma is extremely rare and often remains undetected until in its advanced stage.
“Stage IV” and “aggressive” are not what you want to hear in cancer diagnoses. Immediately my mind jumped to scary questions like “How long do I have to live?” “Is this kind of cancer curable?” Questions and fears became an everyday occurrence for the next nine months.
Interminable Waiting
Although each cancer has its own treatment protocol, every patient and caregiver has similar highs and lows. The hardest part for us was the original waiting. Another low came when told about prescribed treatment: six 21-day cycles of intense chemotherapy, followed by stem cell transplant.
My expectations were of one day every three or four weeks receiving chemo (very typical for lymphoma patients), not four days in hospital every three weeks. Adjusting to the length of the treatment required a major mindset change.
The first scans were done Nov. 23, 11 weeks after beginning treatment. I teach Owen Graduate School of Management students about managing waiting times and reducing anxiety, but it was very difficult for me to wait a week for results. I felt I had started a class back in August and had no feedback on my progress until those scans. It was as if the weight was all on the final exam.
Merciful Remission
I have now been in remission longer than a year, but doctors don’t say “cured.” Instead, I am “cancer-free” and on very little medicine; both are a miraculous outcome given where I started in August 2009. I finally came back to Vanderbilt full time for the 2010–11 school year, after an entire year’s absence for treatments.
Blind turns in the cancer treatment process are things for which we have no foreknowledge. Hebrews 11:1 says, “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” Those first scans, the stem cell donor testing, semiweekly blood tests, reactions to treatments – all were blind turns. We received favorable news at each turn, but it was never guaranteed.
Altered Perspective
Such trials change one’s perspective on what is important in life. Relationships become more important than daily tasks. Trials strengthen us for the future and enable us to assist others who are suffering.
We experienced the truth of 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 which says:“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”
My wife Marti and I immediately began to reach out to others on this journey. We ask that you pray for a durable remission—of five or 10 or even 20 years!
© 2011 Gary Scudder
© istockphoto
[Excerpted from the Spring 2011Vanderbilt Magazine. Used by permission]