The Best Times With Students

Brent Nelsen, Political Science
Furman University

As Christians we are called to disciple – but I find many of us faculty members think discipleship is either too hard — or that we simply don’t have time.

For the past 19 years I have practiced “discipleship by walking around.” I believe that we can be disciplers without adjusting our lives in ways that are unproductive to our careers.

Discipleship By Walking Around

During my grad school days at the University of Wisconsin – Madison there were some marvelous Christian faculty members very committed to mentoring graduate students. So it was just very natural for me, when I got to Furman, which is entirely an undergraduate institution, to look for opportunities.

I have an unusual way of “selecting” students to disciple. Somehow I got started with a prayer group at 6:45 a.m. When I meet students at our church, if they’re young men, I’ll say, “I’ve got a prayer group on Thursday mornings. If you’re interested in getting up early and praying with me on campus.”

Most of the time, they never come. That’s way too early, especially for freshmen. But it shows me those who are serious about spiritual growth, and I mentor them.

Allowing Students In

I believe that the most effective mentoring comes from allowing people to get involved in your life — allowing students in, and being there for them when they want you to be there.

I invite these guys over for dinner. When I had younger children sometimes the students babysat, other times they just came and hung out while we put the kids to bed. Or they came to soccer games. They watch me — everything that I do. They watch when I relate to my wife, when I relate to my children. They watch me trying to apply Scripture to my life. They watch me screw up. They watch me say stupid things. And they learn.
Most of the students that I have mentored I have never had in class. I would prefer it that way. Now sometimes these guys come to know me through class but the class is over before they begin coming to prayer. Most of them don’t take another class from me once they start coming to prayer. I don’t know if that’s by design, or if they think that wouldn’t be fair. I know that some of them don’t take me because they think I’m too hard a grader!

As they get older, especially if they get girlfriends that they are serious about, they want to hang out at our house all the time. They say, “I don’t really know what it’s like to be a husband or a father. Could we spend time with you?” It’s not a big commitment on our part — usually once or twice is enough to satisfy their urge.

When Former Students Return

There are some long term benefits. I can’t tell you how encouraging it is to have former students visit. They return with their wives and their children now.

I believe that if I’ve been effective at all, it is in allowing guys to enter into my life and watch what I do. One of those former students is now my boys’ youth pastor at church. He is building into my sons’ lives. As I see the effect he’s having, I am reminded that discipleship is worth it.