Curby Alexander,
Assistant Professor of Professional Practice,
Texas Christian University
[Dec. 10, 2013]~~
Do not fear, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)
This past year was my first at a new university. The summer leading up to the fall semester was filled with planning, anxiety, reading, anticipation, and uncertainty. I had taught college courses for several years prior to this appointment and felt confident in my abilities, but I still wanted my career at TCU to get off to the best start possible.
During a pre-semester meeting, an experienced faculty member stressed the importance of good teaching evaluations.
I got the message—the longevity of my stay here would be, at least in some part, due to whether or not my students liked me.
The semester got off to a pretty smooth start, but I was teaching three courses for the first time. Eventually, my inexperience with these courses began to surface. Several aspects of assignments, exams, and course policies needed improvement. Student emails pointed out these deficiencies. I could answer many of the queries quickly—clarifying assignments, etc. Other questions were more complex and did not have an easy solution. Unaware of the policies for missing class or making up missed assignments, I made a few students upset and angry.
Recalling the early semester warning about teaching evaluations, I began to get worried. I knew students talked to each other and I feared the class would turn against me.
How would this affect my teaching evaluations?
Out of fear, I made minor changes to the course that I thought would pacify the handful of dissatisfied students. The changes were not major, but they put into question every other course policy. Suddenly I was flooded with e-mails about “excused” class absences, late assignments, and make-up quizzes. I had created a nagging headache for myself, all because I made a decision out of fear that my students might evaluate me poorly.
Through this experience, I recognized again some truths, rooted in my relationship with Jesus Christ. My identity and security are not found in other people–whether they are fellow colleagues or students I teach. As a human, I know that others have the potential to shape my self-concept and perceptions—but my value is found in the Lord. It is ultimately within His approval where my soul finds rest (Matthew 11:28-30).
Ephesians 2:10 tells me, “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” The beauty of this truth is that I know I do not have to work for God’s approval. It was satisfied through Jesus and offered to me freely, and there is great comfort in that.
Teachable
Practically, I also learned the complaints of a few disgruntled students do not represent the entire class. My teaching evaluations turned out fine, the majority of students liked the class, and I gained valuable experience for planning the course when I teach it again this fall. And even with critical comments and evaluations, if my identity is secure in Christ, I can be teachable about areas where I need to improve.
Most of all, I am thankful to be reminded this year of that great gospel truth that the only approval I really need is from my Creator.